The Trenton toilet paper shortage has been solved…at least temporarily.

 

They scoured three floors at police headquarters in Trenton, New Jersey, but no toilet paper was found. The situation was the same at City Hall, the source of the TP shortage, because of disagreements between politicians and bureaucrats.

 

City government in the state’s capital ran out of bathroom tissue following the refusal of city council members to approve a $42,573 order for toilet paper, toilet seat covers and paper towels.

 

The dispute forced police officers to bring their own toilet paper to work or to use restrooms at hotels and other local businesses.

 

In November, December and again in January, the city council balked at signing off on the resupply because they didn’t like the $4,000 “paper hot drink cups with handles” line-item.

 

“It’s beyond dysfunctional,” George Dzurkoc, president of the Policemen’s Benevolent Association, told the Times of Trenton. “You expect there’s going to be some conflict, but my God. Basic necessities. They can’t even get that straight.”

 

Fortunately, the administration of Mayor Tony Mack was able to sign an emergency contract to purchase $16,000 worth of paper products (but no paper hot drink cups). In addition, Mack agreed to accept a donation of a six-month supply of toilet paper from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), which agreed to the deal as long as the toilet paper was printed with the message "Slaughterhouses are so filthy that more than half of all meat is contaminated with fecal bacteria. Wipe cruelty from your diet. Go vegan. PETA.”

 

PETA’s executive vice-president, Tracy Reiman, called it “a cheeky solution.”

-David Wallechinsky, Noel Brinkerhoff

 

Trenton Inks Deal to Restock Dwindling Supplies of Toilet Paper, Towels (by Matt Fair, Times of Tenton)

Trenton Restocks Toilet Paper Amid Council-Mayor Spat (by Terrence Dopp, Bloomberg)

In Trenton, Concern Mounts as Rolls Go Empty (by Alex Zdan, Times of Trenton)